I believe that you have a greater sense of this struggle than most people, and that is a great gift. Never stop doubting yourself or your blog entries; instead, thank God for that wonderful enlightenment that He gives us!

Love and blessings to you!

Pastor Richard

I found some quotations for you . . . food for thought.

::If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins. ~Benjamin Franklin

::It is with our passions as it is with fire and water; they are good servants, but bad masters. ~Roger L’Estrange, Aesop’s Fables, 1692

::Passion and prejudice govern the world, only under the name of reason. ~John Wesley

It is indeed a huge burden when there are many people looking to you for an answer to life’s struggles; a prayer to make them feel better; or a pat on the back to let them know that you are thinking of them and you are with them through the storms of living in the world of today…but take heart, my friend. God will never give us too much of a load to bear; when we are weak, He is strong; and when there is nowhere else to turn…He is right there waiting for us to give it all to Him.

You have the right heart and mindset to serve the Lord; so don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. It was a joy to get to know you at Licensing School, and that is just the first step in our combined journey of fully living out the Gospel of Jesus Christ for all the world to see! I know that He will give you the peace, grace and joy to make it through those times when you doubt.

Be blessed, my friend!

Grace and peace,

Pastor Richard

As I was reading your first paragraph something occurred to me. What is the difference between a map and directions? A map lays out all the options. It shows us the lay of the land, the big picture. Directions give us one direct path from start to finish. Well life throws us detours all the freaking time. If all we have in our hands are the printed mapquest directions, we are screwed. I think you are looking for God to print you some directions and what God has given you is an entire map, a bigger picture with options and choices. I don’t think it really matters which course you chart, as long as you don’t forget the big picture. Jesus is the life-giver and is living his love for life out through you. If you find what inspires you and go that direction, you can’t go wrong as long as you don’t forget the big picture.

Sharon

So, you are ready to student teach!! Wow! Time flies. I haven’t heard anything about students since I left the halls of Moberly 18 months ago. I miss the kids, I don’t miss the drive or all the schoolinaicans. For the schools, it is mostly about having all the paper work in place…doesn’t matter if you do it; just make sure you have it.

Glad you sent me your blog “stuff” I haven’t gotten into that part of computer life. If I had a place to write, I might not eat…now that would be a novel point. Since I have developed TJM or TMJ (never was good with those initial things) and have a mouthguard/apparatus that I have to take off when I eat I am aware when I eat. It is too bad we aren’t born with mouthguards…my life would have been a little easier. Now think about it…if we had mouthguards would it make our breath and our words easier or harder. Easier because only the truth would come out or harder because truth doesn’t necessarily exist in denotation but in the connotation of a word. If english were like other languages, there would be only one meaning for a word. Think how limited that would be. If you didn’t know the word could you think the thought?

So the last year, Mel and I have worked at being world travelers. We went to Mexico last January, Beijing in July, and then traveled the southeast part of the US in December visiting family and friends and of course, going to the Cotton Bowl. Now, I need to decide if I really want to work full time again or not. It would be so helpful if I would grow up someday; but then again it might be boring too.

Be careful of being too busy. Sometimes the busyness (I know it is spelled business but I mean busyness) keeps us from having time to deal with stuff we’d rather think about later or in my case never .

I haven’t totally dropped out of the education field; I just don’t know where I want to be in the field. Occasionally the idea of a doctorate floats by me, but I can’t justify the cost now…I wouldn’t work long enough to pay for it. At 48 that didn’t bother me; at 58 I wonder what is the best use of the work years (about 10) would do me the most good financially, emotionally and physically. Much as I don’t like to admit it, my heart attack last March makes me wonder how I want to spend my time. Well, good luck in student teaching, preaching? and living. Remember to have a good time.

Sharon