Exploring the Seasons Moment By Moment

Another Season… February 15, 2011

When I started this blog, I was working as a youth pastor, and I was 20 years old.  Now I am 24.  What all has changed?  Well, for one, I accepted that I am gay.  This led me to quit my church job since my home denomination, United Methodist, does not allow gay clergy.  Not only did I lose my job, but I also lost my church; the single place where I was free to live out my faith without hesitation.  I lost my best friend and companion in life because he could not handle the feelings that I had developed for him.   And I had to move since I was living at the campus ministry house at the time.

Where am I now?  I am in a whole new city, working part time at a church as an associate (might as well call me that), working full time for a University teaching and recruiting students.  I have all new friends and discovered the true meaning of family.  Those who had issue of my gayness are not a part of my life on a regular basis, and while I am sadden for their absence, I am also thrilled by the new people that have entered into my life. 

Tonight I finished applying for financial aid for seminary.  I have applied to five schools – each one has it great advantages.  I did not have low expectations for this.  I wanted to challenge myself like no other, and well, I will succeed I have a feeling.  I just have to decide where I want to go.  My mind is once again racing to the future and dreaming of all the awesome things that will happen while I should be more focused on what is going on in the present.  Maybe one day I will work on improving this. 

I thought about creating a new blog.  One that is fresh and has no baggage of where I have been, but then I thought, “That would be a waste”  The title of this blog is exploring the seasons, and while some seasons cannot be published with my thoughts, life continues on throughout multiple times.  With each day, I live more fully into the person that I should become and that mere fact gives me hope. 

And so we continue…exploring the seasons…