Exploring the Seasons Moment By Moment

Years ago on a college road trip, a friend of mine introduced me to a show called The Office.  At the time, I really didn’t think much about it.  I mean, it had its funny parts, but I am not one to be “addicted” to very many shows; especially comedies.  However, as my life got more stressed, I was beginning to find the “this really doesn’t matter” mode relaxing.  And so this summer, when visiting a friend, I watched the first season of The Office.  This was during a period where I was running away from my own life and found myself for the first time in a long time…laughing.  I was smiling and giggling by myself as I watched this show.  It brought back so many memories about the true office situtation when I worked at the courthouse, and even some elements reminded me of church.  Either way, I needed to laugh in life and this helped me to do so.

So now I am, not “addicted”, but a big fan.  I own seasons 2 & 3.  I am slowly making my way through season 3 as I don’t watch it on television.  However, for the past few times I have been watching it, I have closed my eyes several times, just not wanting to watch it because it reminded me…of me.  Yes, the stupid things that some of these characters do and say remind me of myself.  And to my disappointment, I have to accept this fact.  Now my former co-workers at church named me as Dewight and maybe I am him, but I think there are times when I am so full of myself, Michael comes through.  Or the times that I think I am mightier than thou Angela.  Or when I am quiet and not so confident Pam.  Or even no-nonsense Stan when I just don’t give a care.  Or when I am so “out there” that Creed seems normal.  I could go on and on, but the truth is, I believe that each of us can see a piece of ourselves in each of the characters – rather we want to admit it or not.

So what does that tell us?  It tells me several things.  Like first, that though we are all different individuals with different personalities, there are common bonds between us.  We do have something in common with everyone, from the “country club” golfer, to the prostituate down the street, to the drug dealer in the apartment above us. 

No matter how many differences there are, there are similarities which should constantly remind us that we were created by one God.  A God that does understand our struggles and sorrows, but also has traits and charactertics like ourselves.  No wonder God can be so relateable to us, because I believe we house a little bit of the Lord in our personalities.

The world is diverse and we should celebrate that.  We should rejoice that we have come so far as a nation where a black man can run for President or that I can turn on the television and watch the spanish channel.  I know that this may sound weird to some, but sometimes I just watch the spanish channel and realize how small I am compared to the world.  Here I have access to a totally different culture and society in my home.  I love it.

Each of us make up The Office.  We are complex individuals with great diversity.  Let’s celebrate that and not let it divide us.  We are not just one “character” in this life but all kinds of different people.  It isn’t a bad thing that we don’t all think and act alike.  It is uncomfortable – trust me, I know.  Even as I write this I think back to a conversion with a friend that I asked, why can’t everyone just act like us (because there are some who REALLY like to push the social norm and are weird to me).  But I have to accept them anyway.  It isn’t easy and it takes a lot of practice.  But maybe one day…one day…I learn to love everyone in The Office…

Yesterday I attended a college organization meeting, and met up with a lot of old friends.  These people are ones that met way back when I was a college freshman and I haven’t really seen them since.  As I sat there just staring at them interacting with one another, I realized just how old they really look.  When did they (we) grow?  When did our confidence outgrow our fear of college?  I remember my first meeting of this organization where I didn’t say but two words.  I remember when I first met these folks, again saying only a few words.  Over time I got more and more comfortable, and soon my real, talkive, outspoken, energic self came out.  During this meeting yesterday, more and more of my energy rose and one girl (woman now) turned and said, you won’t ever loose your energy will you?

I smiled and thought, I hope not.  I want to be the crazy guy in the room.  I am sure that my teachers that I teach think I am the most spazic teacher they have.  I don’t mind that.  I don’t think it is a bad thing for people to have different personalities.  But the most important thing – people seem to laugh whenever I get going – mostly at me, but still.  Joy comes.  Happiness comes.  Friendships form and deepen.  Why is that a bad thing?

I think each of us was born with traits, gift that is a piece of God’s personality I think.  I hope God is really energetic.  I hope that Christ gets so exited sometimes that sitting in a chair is as painful as getting caught on fire.  One of my favorite quotes of John Wesley is “catch yourself on fire, and people will come from miles away to watch you burn.”  I love that. 

And so as I watched these friends now, I realized that we are not who we were when we first started, but at the same time, there are parts of us that don’t change; that are the same.  And that is bond that will last a lifetime.  No matter where we go, when we come together, we still have something to talk about.  And that, that I think is a miracle.  I am glad that somethings never change…

I am blessed by having two men in particular that I look up to.  I am blessed because after talking with my friends my age, they don’t seem to have that kind of relationship with someone older than them.  These men are not idols, heroes, or perfect.  These men are two individuals that I have grown to trust and respect, and pray that one day I hope to be a little like them.  These two men have become brothers to me, even though I have four older ones biologically.  When I grow older, and people look at me, I’d be okay if people say, he reminds me of… 

I want to make these two men proud of me.  I want them to look at me and smile and know that they helped formed me.  I want them to know that all of the energy and patience and advice and laughs and everything that they do for me isn’t in vain, that I am not a nobody.  But in the midst of trying to make them proud, I forgot what really makes them proud.  And for that, I have been trying to live a lie and an expection that is near impossible.

What makes these two proud of me?  I know exactly what it is.  It is when I take care of myself.  When I eat, sleep, and excerise to stay healthy.  It is when I take the steps needed to be mentally clear and sound.  It is when I love God more than anything and do what the spirit is calling me to do whatever that may be.  It is when I stop trying to be something that they want, and I start acting like myself…the me that they first liked in the beginning.

What it isn’t – fame.  Being known by many people.  Being first in my career choice or making lots and lots of money.  Being the person that “everyone talks about” and idolizes just to idolize.  Trying to outbeat everyone and killing myself just to live up to extremely high standards.  I may never be well known.  I may never be well-respected in my field, and I have to learn to be okay with that.  I have to learn that, that isn’t what makes these two men proud of me nor it isn’t why I look up to them at all.

And so, yeah, I continue on trying to make them proud of me.  I continue on living day to day honoring the words that they have spoken.  Besides I probably remember more of their words to me than they do.  But I know what I have to do to make them proud and it isn’t what I have been doing.   I have been trying to live the “perfect” life and in the mean time forgetting what life really is.  Let’s pray that I don’t forget for awhile.

I am going to make you proud.  I am going to do my best.  And I won’t forget what means.